Harnessing conflicts positively at your workplace

Given the number of hours we spend at work, an environment where people can express themselves freely and openly is a wonderful thing. When working under pressure – tight deadlines, long hours or multiple projects - even the slightest of issues, problems or something said can trigger emotions fuelling conflict.

Conflicts can prove to be costly for your well-being and your business. It can cost you billions. Use it as an asset or let it eat into the productivity of your team.

Studies show that around 25% of employees take sick leave to avoid conflict. And 10% believe that conflict is one of the reasons behind delayed projects.

Things can’t always be as we want them, can they? Who wants to be a part of a conflict? But can it be avoided? Knowing the source of a conflict and what can trigger it is crucial for being able to handle it optimally.

How does Psychological Safety help harness the positives in conflict?

Can you imagine working in a place where you must cloak your opinions and keep your ideas to yourself? Where you do not have a say in important matters. Where you are penalised or shamed for the tiniest of mistakes or without any mistake on your part.

How long do you think anyone can or will put up with these recriminations?

Ed Pierson, an ex-senior manager at a Boeing 737 factory near Seattle, witnessed something like this at Boeing. He had a feeling that aeroplane safety was in jeopardy. He addressed the issue with the top management but to no avail. With this, Pierson decided his time at Boeing was over.

The two Boeing 737 max plane crashes might have come as a shock to everyone, but Ed Pierson. According to Ed Pierson, it was the consequence of the work culture and practices at Boeing.

Here’s when psychological safety comes into the picture.

A great team is not one without tension. Differences and disagreements are inevitable when it comes to a working environment. When different opinions collide, friction is bound to happen. How you resolve this tension between your team is what makes the difference. The difference that draws the line between success and failure for you and your team.

When there is psychological safety and trust between team members, they tend to be more vocal and open with each other which makes it easier for them to settle issues and problems. A psychologically safe environment helps harness conflicts positively.

The significance of psychological safety in work culture cannot be denied.

According to Amy Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School: “Psychological safety is a climate in which one feels one can be candid. It's a place where interpersonal risks feel doable.”

So basically, in a psychologically safe environment, people are not afraid of speaking their minds, they are not scared of voicing out their concerns and pointing out mistakes. In a psychologically safe place, those lower in the pecking order have a say in matters.

Psychological safety enhances trust and paves way for constructive conflict resolution.

Why is psychological safety needed?

Psychological safety has been recognised as one of the main characteristics of successful teams.

All of us at some point have been part of a drama at work. The reason behind it? Maybe our feelings were affected or how we see and interpret a situation. Conflict as we’ve agreed is natural, but how you deal with it in your workplace is the differentiating factor.

Blaming, condemning, threatening, criticising, all tend to generate negative reactions. They only harm your well-being and performance.

When emotions are left unchecked and unmanaged, they create space for drama and conflict. It is human and natural to be offended when things are not in our favour. However, as a leader, it is your responsibility to develop the awareness, skills and knowledge in your team that prevent the negative impact of drama.

“The Karpman drama triangle is a classic model of codependent behaviour. First of all, a codependent will rescue someone. Then, when their ‘brave and charitable’ work hasn’t been acknowledged, they become very angry at the person they have attempted to rescue. And finally, they start to feel like a victim. They feel sorry for themselves and complain how the person they rescued never appreciated them. The important thing to learn here is that if a person wants to change, it’s because they have made a decision to do so.”

~ Christopher Dines

When there is trust, there is psychological safety and in a safe environment, people are more inclusive.

Holding accountability

Studies show that 23% of drama created when accountability is low in teams.

While accusing and criticising others, we often become blind to our mistakes. In a psychologically safe environment, people hold accountability for their actions. Team members are more supportive of each other which in turn lessens the chance of conflict to arise.

Mistakes are OK

A psychologically safe environment allows rectifying mistakes. In the absence of psychological safety, employees are afraid of making mistakes or they do things to hide mistakes.

Psychological safety motivates people to step up and own their ‘stuff’. In a psychologically safe workplace, people are more likely to admit their mistakes and point out the mistakes of others without any drama.

Psychological safety and trust increases the ability to experiment and that improves creativity and innovation at work.

Conflicts cannot be avoided but you can always have an alternative approach to manage them. You can always open the door of learning and growth.

Challenging conversations

Difficult conversations is a part and parcel of work life.

You may have observed getting anxious when it comes to having a difficult conversation. Adrenaline kicks in and all you want is to get the other person or group to agree to you.

You might have to talk to a team member about their performance on a project, to let him know his performance is not up to the mark and he needs to up his game. How are you going to proceed with this conversation?

You can’t be like, “Hey Mike, your performance is not really up to the mark. You aren’t doing it well, if this goes on we will have to replace you.”

What do you think is going to be the result of such a conversation? Mike might be offended; he may tell the others and soon the whole workplace will be filled with whispers and gossip; he may look for another job and leave before you replace him; or he might jeopardise the project.

Being a leader is one of the, if not the most challenging role in today’s world. Your attitude and behaviour towards your team members decide their dedication towards their work and loyalty towards you and your organisation.

When approaching difficult conversations, it is necessary for you to prep yourself so you can achieve your goal, and at the same time, avoid any sort of drama or conflict.

Here are a few tips that will help you in handling any difficult conversation.

Have a different approach

When you believe that you are going in for a difficult conversation, open-ended questions may make things worse. Questions that explore and investigate may take you down a rabbit hole with no conclusion.

Focus on the result and craft your questions, usually close-ended, to lead the conversation in that direction. What’s important is shifting the situation to the positive, pointing fingers or rehashing the whole episode defeats the purpose. And, it may just give your team member some wiggle room to get out and avoid making changes.

Slow down

The calmer and at peace your mind is, the easier it is to handle such conversations.

Try taking deep breaths that will help keep your emotions regulated. Avoid having these conversations when your emotions are triggered. Step away and come back later when you’ve managed your emotions and planned your approach.

Listen and Reflect

While handling a difficult situation that might lead to conflict or drama, people mostly go down the track when they only emphasise what they want and do not listen to the other party.

Being a good listener is very essential to go ahead with such challenging conversations without turning them into some heated argument. When you are attentive towards the other person and give them a chance to speak, you buy yourself time to manage emotions and reorganise your thoughts.

What will help in putting an end to workplace drama?

Whining, complaining, accusing, denying, and other such negative emotions can turn any relationship sour. This is not something you can accept in your team members because it kills the morale and performance of the team.

For optimal performance and well-being, your team must know to harness their differences rather than hide them. It saves a lot of workplace drama. When people respect and trust each other, they will not go behind backs creating unnecessary drama. Respectfully disagreeing is much better than forcing your decision upon others.

At times the stories we weave in our minds are much harsher than the actual reality. It is common for people to give into stories about others without even knowing if it is real or just gossip. When the reality of such gossip is questioned, it is then people realise how wrong they were in judging someone.

The best way to avoid any unnecessary drama is to get people to talk to each other. Communication opens doors for new relationships and any disagreement can be handled with its help.

Having talked about all workplace drama and conflicts, you should not avoid conflicts, but learn to make the best out of them. Not all conflicts are bad, some help us gain perspective. It is how you handle this exchange that defines how good or bad the conflict was. Adapt to ways that make conflict emerge as a catalyst for the performance of your team, rather than a hindrance.

When conflict is harnessed positively, it

● stresses curiosity,

● enhances creativity,

● improves relationships,

● increases well-being and

● boosts optimal performance.

All good things a leader wants.

INSIDER SECRET: Managing drama is part of how to build trust in your team and how to develop yourself as a leader.

References:

1. https://www.ted.com/podcasts/worklife/is-it-safe-to-speak-up-at-work-transcript

2. https://www.inc.com/scott-mautz/in-a-recent-study-microsoft-found-that-most-successful-teams-share-these-5-traits.html?cid=nl029week03day15_3&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Inc%20Must%20Reads&position=1&partner=newsletter&campaign_date=15012020

3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/06/30/how-to-master-difficult-conversations-at-work/?sh=17922fdf2a95